Honor By Oroba Tasnim

Honor is a far stretched concept, unequivocally the key driver in most of the Muslim societies that function on a daily basis. But it thrives off certain contradictions, a paradox that oft raises several question marks. Perhaps, it is an entity that reverberates the true significance one individual holds to the other, or even beyond that.

The aforementioned, has strung itself consistently in the Pakistani society we live in today. From rickshaw drivers, to CEOs, it is one term, all men are persistent about. Strong willed, chivalrous, noble. All arising from the same concept, the belief to empower through a positive noun, intricately catered to as a proverbial dialect.

But it brings with it misconstrued conceptions. While there is no doubt as to whether honor is worthy of existence, the thrifty adolescence that it brings, is bound to be addressed. There is a utopian concept in the minds of several men, where women are the only torch bearers of this misinterpreted connotation, and men safeguard it through objectionable murders, every now and then, when a woman tows out of line.

The recent abominable murder of Pakistani model Qandeel Baloch, raised a massive hue and cry in the country. As politicians, social activists, media artists all rallied in unison, condemning the attack, the murderer, the deceased’s brother, glowered with pride as he strictly laid down that his sister had lost the right to live, due to her obstinacy and disrespect accorded at all avenues. Thus, he had taken charge, and eliminated a threat to his honor.

Useful to ask from him, probably should have been, how his honor was not infringed when he conveniently used up her sister’s wealth to live on a daily basis, or how her sister when left with the sole responsibility of being the bread winner for not only herself, but her entire family, including her ailing father, did not even mitigate a realization within him about HIS responsibility as a son and brother. All this coincided with the detrimental brotherhood which failed to acknowledge the miseries of this young woman, but ostracized and abolished her existence to shards of honor alone.

As the parents mourn in grief for who they acclaim as their greatest support and ally, there is a tethering mother who is belied for her allegiance to not only her slain daughter, but the son who the father persists, no longer remains a part of their family. One can only wonder and agonize over the apparent distress, the mother is currently undergoing, but what else is the way out?

Around a week ago, headed by a Pakistani lawmaker Sughra Imam, amendments were made to the honor killing law, where the decision to forgive the offender in case of an honor killing, no longer resided with the family, among other things. But the question in picture is, will this stop honor killings and all related crimes concerning women, and help them come to an end?

No.

For it all lies in the head, where the man is channelized since birth towards a certain criteria set for is expectations of related women in his life, daughters, wives, mothers, nieces and the likes. When a mother casually reprimands her son for not holding her daughter accountable in terms of her actions, as a child, this is instilled amidst him. When a father commands his wife to surrender in subservience to his desires, the son learns and imprints superiority in his mind. It all starts in the head, where the brain functions.

Teach your son honor, for sure it is the greatest entity one can possess. But teach them the responsibilities that come with honor. The need for independence that is often overlooked. Be honorable for yourself, but never question someone’s honor upon the basis of one’s brother, sister or the likes. Everyone is accountable for their own deeds, advise and be concerned but learn to move towards an advisory technique rather than resorting to foolish eradication.

So when you educate your child, you educate him about the rights and wrongs, you arouse a vision where equality stars first base but most of all you incorporate the need to live and let live, even if he disagrees.

by webmaster@insaf.pk (tkiadmin)